If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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