Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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