I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
