Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
