shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You were trust falling into bushes
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
