I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Terrible idea I love it
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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