Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
