He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
