god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
