Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
