he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
