I want to stick my p in your. b.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
