That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Never joke about your clitoris.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
