It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
