If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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