every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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