why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
