"it" just moved
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
