don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
