just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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