Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
