you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
