Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
