For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
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Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
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The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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