How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
