If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
