I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
