I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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