Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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