1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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