I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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