There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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