Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
