If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
