new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
