New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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