My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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