Her vagina should come with caution tape.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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