I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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