Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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