i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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