her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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