I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
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He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
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He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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