Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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