I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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