Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
