where am i from again
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
