Define "chronic" masturbator.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
