Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I think I won the penis lottery.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
