you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
