It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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