...so i touched it.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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