You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
