Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
