i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
