my mouth tastes like poor choices
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
