DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
