Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
